Lying in Wait

Hear this post above!

This month, the time immediately following the Resurrection, we’ll declare it the Butterfly season.  Why Butterflies?  First, they are symbols of tremendous change in a short time frame.  A butterfly’s life spans the course of about a month, which means there’s little time to be idle.  There is, of course, also the “butterfly effect” where it’s believed if one flaps its wing, a hurricane could be created.  Let us be inspired to live a new life this month, during the Butterfly Season.

These posts about the cocoon are the hardest because, I believe, I'm not as comfortable as I perhaps should be with being inside of it.  So this post is more of a reflection on myself - I pray that it ministers to others.

While the butterfly cycle is fairly short, as mentioned before, there are times when that stage we are in becomes prolonged.  If seeds, for example, are lain in the winter, they will wait til the spring to hatch. Likewise, the pupa (cocoon) stage can last for far longer, until the development on the inside is fully complete.  It's hard to think that we, of all people, could in fact not be ready to move forward, even when all the signs point to it. 

  I feel like I've been lying in wait for almost four years now.  It's been the definition of insanity, caught in a holding pattern, doing the same things over and over expecting a different result.  But it wasn't until a couple nights ago, when I was tired but unable to sleep, that I realized why I haven't moved.  Instead of cultivating my skills, I have constantly focused more on existing from day to day.  I often procrastinate with things in my immediate surroundings - washing dishes, settling bills, setting a constant menu for my allergy filled diet - by filling my time with events like going to work, rehearsing, doing things for others.  It is not bad to embrace the work of ministering to the masses, however, if I can not work on myself, how effective am I to anyone else? 

A minister friend of mine, also cocooning, recently mentioned that this place is meant for rest.  I am starting to believe that it is, additionally, meant to completely unravel us to the core, down to the very seed of what makes me who I am.  This is unnerving for someone like me, who prefers some measure of structure and control.  I am reminded, though, of Philippians 4:6-7 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  We can only bind up our wounds, heal our broken hearts and renew our dreams when we are willing to be unraveled, stripped and exposed, ready to face our true selves.

As we continue the move through the cocoon, consider writing a reflection of your own, addressing something you've neglected facing, and pouring it out to be left when we shed for the final time next week.