Around the last day of each
month, I'll be reflecting on the events if the month to see where I am in my
head. I encourage each of you to take a little time out to do the same as
it helps to track our own individual progress. Here they are...
"The sound of your
heart is made clear in your actions." Rev. Jamie Capers
What is living to me?
This is the question I
wrote while journaling one morning last week. Julia Cameron suggests in
her book, The Artist's Way, to write
morning pages - three pages of words, bible verses, pictures, song lyrics,
whatever you need to center yourself and prepare for the day. I use it as
apart of my devotion/prayer time, so whatever residual feelings from the day
before are withdrawn and new items can be deposited in the coming hours.
This is also where I challenge myself to be better, hence the question…
What is living to me?
I like stability. I’m
a planner – I need to know exactly where to go, even if the details are not
mapped out (this is where I’m malleable and can bend rules a little). I thrive in goal-oriented situations where
things are pre-established, which is why I have multiple degrees and am
addicted to Candy Crush. The rounds are clearly structured so that I
can measure my own progress without thinking about it. Having a
basic job that provides some stability seems ideal until I can get my writing
to be what is necessary.
What is living to me?
What I’ve found is that this was coping – merely
surviving when my potential, in fact, is much greater than that. The mundane
tasks were crippling, clouding my judgment of what was more important to me,
what makes me grow. Things I would have completely quickly were now met
with intense hesitation. When faced with the question of “What happened?”, it
was the necessary mirror to consider exactly the person I was growing into. It
led me to believe I may not be embracing my truth. “Behold, You desire truth in
the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart” (Psalm
51: 6). I realized I was in fact trying to hide, however,
potential and talent shine like a lightening bug in a dark room; once you think
they’ve made it out, a little flash is a reminder of their presence.
What is living to me?
Living, to me, looks a
lot like walking in the path I am destined to walk on and not playing it
safe. Trying the areas once more that I
thought I failed previously. Living
means not being fearful of reprioritizing or reorganizing. Living is not being afraid to succeed.
Consider, this week,
“What does living look like to you?”
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