Reflections: Lifted

I have a different plan for my writing in August - my intension were to write about how the different school supplies can encourage us. Those posts will still be written soon and released at some point in the future.  However, there is so much movement in the air, I felt a different subject come about.  In the news and in my personal life, there have been several people unhappy with their circumstances, down on their luck and in their self-esteem.  With the recent alleged suicide of a childhood star whose career I followed, it solidified the fact that this should be a conversation.  Take a deep breath and exhale; we need this one.

Without a doubt, sometimes the world seems to weigh on us.  We do not always wear it well – we may cry out in frustration or feel the not-quite-so-gentle perspiration of tears moisturizing our skin.  Some of us hold it in, isolating ourselves, only to act out physically later which shocks our family and friends.  We maintain the pretenses, justifying the need to save face by indulging in luxuries – buying a new pair of shoes instead of paying a bill (even though I believe in rewarding the self – but that post is for another time).  I wonder if it is that, sometimes, we do not admit to ourselves exactly where we are on our emotional spectrum? That by the time we cry out for help we are so far down the spiral there is no possible redemption.  We get low, out of sync with ourselves and out of balance.

Yesterday morning, I stopped by my church to drop off a package and had the treat of hearing my friend sing some of John Legend’s “So High” (she has a magnificent voice).  The song itself actually talks about one party issuing an invitation of love to another; listening to it made me fall in love again – with me.   I was able to wrap up in a moment of clarity, seeing what I had neglected the past few weeks when my own situations became far more than I could handle.  In that moment, I understood that I had failed recently to really uplift myself, to forgive myself of mistakes I may have made, to forgive myself for doubting my intuition, or to congratulate myself for stepping out on faith.

This sounds a little odd, but I think sometimes we allow the world to distract us to the point that we can ot see what is that we have always loved about ourselves. The things like that birthmark on my leg; the chicken pox scar on my chest; or the fact that I like to make paper piles in all of my work and living spaces.  These things simultaneously annoy me, yes, but it is what makes me so unique.  I love my fear of showing my writing to anyone, my reluctance at stepping out on faith and that I am phone shy – I hate calling someone the first time.  I’m flawed and I love that because it is where I am humbled.    I am reminded that, “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well” (Psalm 139:14).  The depths of my complexity is scary and awesome, a thin line that can be confusing if not embraced.  But we should not be daunted.

The reason I write and maintain Peace and Praise as a blog and newsletter is to encouraging myself so that I can be a brighter light to others.  We never know whom we touch, who is watching, who is in need of your presence, in any given circumstance.  I write this as a person who admits that I have been so low, feeling unaccomplished or that I must be as worthless/incompetent as they say.  I write acknowledging that I have, in the earliest morning hours after bouts of persistent insomnia, considered the alternatives, convinced they could be a solution.  I write confessing that I have not always been in the soundest of minds when pieces of my life were scattered – half up in the air threatening to drop while many more lay open and exposed on the ground.  Thankfully, I had a godmother with professional sensibilities who loved me enough to share a salad, fanning that dying spark, coaxing it regain the strength to become a full on flame once more.

I have attempted the juggling act – that dance that forces me to choose between the necessary elements, only to finally that decide I refuse to choose any longer.  I have to do what preserves me and deposits positively into my own life.

What lifts me?  I intentionally decide to get grounded, connecting with the scientifically purest form of myself, the being made of love and joy.    In the beginning, it may require confiding in an anonymous party, one who would never judge you or your situation.  Getting lifted is about accepting your truth and reveling in the peace the honesty can bring.  Getting lifted is moving to a place so high that even if things are not going right, the thoughts never again threaten to diminish your heat.  I am happy to say, that no matter what I have faced since that salad, I have never allowed my flame to be turned that low again.

Consider grounding yourself – meditate in the morning, develop a ritual of 10 minutes of quiet time or even color.  If you are in a place that pushes you deeper, consider confiding in a professional 3^rd party or certified spiritual guide to assist.  Above all, keep yourself lifted.