What Holds Us Up

“My Mama said that I was not built to break! ...I did not know my own strength.”

~ Whitney Houston

At a recent conference, a young woman, before sharing her gift of song, told the awaiting listeners that she was striving to be a phenomenal woman. As the crowd affirmed for her that she was already phenomenal, the speaker went on to tell of how she had survived a severe domestic violence situation and now, in her upper 30s was returning to school as a freshman to further her education.  A shocked crowd applauded her courage, her strength, fortitude and drive.  The speaker then, again, repeated her desired to be a phenomenal woman.    Someone at a table below the platform whispered, “But you already are” hoping the words could be a silent bandage for the obvious wounds this woman was struggling to heal.

How many times have we been this way?  Standing on the dais of situations in our lives, whether it be conversation with friends, at the head of a boardroom meeting, in front of the classroom, in front of our children, unable to recognize our own greatness.  Somehow not able to face our own legacy for trying to escape the stigma of whatever was chaining us, not realizing that chain has been broken. Unable to see how our story is an inspiration to another.  We think, “This is what holds us back.”  When working to move forward, we replay, constantly, traumas that plagued us, wondering how we can just maneuver around the wall to be that better person we want to become.

What the audience was collectively pushing for was a change in her thinking, a shift in perspective.  The crowd, touched and encouraged by her story, wanted desperately to be a reaffirming mentor to a woman with such value, for her to see that she was already walking in her potential by pushing to live our her dreams in spite of her past. What the assembly need was the affirmation that there would not be another like them, who may have previously allowed outside forces to dictate how they felt about themselves.

To be honest, we are most often, for ourselves, more like the young woman, and less like the crowd. We are told that the survivor stands alone and no one else will ever be for us.  The truth is often farther from this thought than we could imagine. We all have a cheerleading section of people who still see the best in us, whether it is spiritual, persons in your circle now, or a confirmation on the way in your future.  What we must remember is that the experiences move us forward, build us, shape up, mold us and deposit growth into us. What we must remember is that what we think is really holding us back is actually what is holding us up. 

Consider, this week, making a list of all the things you feel are holding you back.  Even title it as such. Once the list is made, scratch off the word “back” and replace it with “up”