Reflections: True Living

Around the last day of each month, I'll be reflecting on the events if the month to see where I am in my head.  I encourage each of you to take a little time out to do the same as it helps to track our own individual progress.  Here they are...

"The sound of your heart is made clear in your actions." Rev. Jamie Capers

What is living to me?

This is the question I wrote while journaling one morning last week.  Julia Cameron suggests in her book, The Artist's Way, to write morning pages - three pages of words, bible verses, pictures, song lyrics, whatever you need to center yourself and prepare for the day.  I use it as apart of my devotion/prayer time, so whatever residual feelings from the day before are withdrawn and new items can be deposited in the coming hours.  This is also where I challenge myself to be better, hence the question…

What is living to me?

I like stability.  I’m a planner – I need to know exactly where to go, even if the details are not mapped out (this is where I’m malleable and can bend rules a little).  I thrive in goal-oriented situations where things are pre-established, which is why I have multiple degrees and am addicted to Candy Crush.  The rounds are clearly structured so that I can measure my own progress without thinking about it.  Having a basic job that provides some stability seems ideal until I can get my writing to be what is necessary.

What is living to me?

What I’ve found is that this was coping – merely surviving when my potential, in fact, is much greater than that. The mundane tasks were crippling, clouding my judgment of what was more important to me, what makes me grow. Things I would have completely quickly were now met with intense hesitation. When faced with the question of “What happened?”, it was the necessary mirror to consider exactly the person I was growing into. It led me to believe I may not be embracing my truth. “Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart” (Psalm 51: 6).   I realized I was in fact trying to hide, however, potential and talent shine like a lightening bug in a dark room; once you think they’ve made it out, a little flash is a reminder of their presence. 

What is living to me?

Living, to me, looks a lot like walking in the path I am destined to walk on and not playing it safe.  Trying the areas once more that I thought I failed previously.  Living means not being fearful of reprioritizing or reorganizing.  Living is not being afraid to succeed.

Consider, this week, “What does living look like to you?”

Eyes on the Prize

Not sure if I told you all how grateful I am that you stuck with me during my hiatus. There were many messages asking questions about when the posts were returning, which I sincerely appreciate.   There won’t be any other interruptions in the future…I have enough now that I can put a few in syndication if need be. The audios will be back soon as well.  I hope this message encourages you as others have before.

“I been through too much not to worship…”

~ Vashawn Mitchell

When I was younger, we were encouraged to watch documentaries and television programs that told the history or facts on just about everything. One series in particular was one that delved into the history of the Civil Rights movement, moving through decades in several one-hour increments.  The theme was clear, despite all that occurred in the details of violence and other difficulties, there was an unwillingness to lose focus of the optimal goal: the ability to live life with the freedoms that are allotted to every person. 

The “prize” was something not considered tangible, well, not of sorts. There is no actual way to embrace freedom except through metaphor.  It is the ability to walk down the street without harassment from people who oppose your style of dress.   It is the option of shopping in the store of our choosing without worrying social or political affiliations and beliefs.  Even the right to an equal education without your eligibility questioned are all manifestations of the “prize”. 

Faith is the same. We are rewarded through blessings as a result of what we endure in life.  Losing our job and walking through a period of unemployment may lead to a career in the field that we love.   Having to move from place to place could allow us to take more care in building our home once we get our space.  And going through numerous tests, programs and study sessions can show you to be more prepared for the new position.  “Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on towards the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14 NRSV). There is more to the story than the current situation.

Consider focusing on the large picture, placing those goals in a place where they are always readily available to see – in your car, at your desk, in your calendar - so that your eyes are always on the prize.

Welcome Back!

“People who don’t know where they are going usually end up where they don’t what to be.” Stuart Sorenson

Ever start a new thing?  It’s exciting at first – there are so many variables!  The roads and possibilities are endless and everything is a new discovery waiting to happen.  The smallest flower seems intricate and worth of the time to study.  Everything is light and airy as the wind tickles the nose and acknowledges the scent of the faintest hint of moisture in the air.  It is all so lovely that we could constantly inundate ourselves with it, never wanting to miss a moment, too afraid to sleep because the morning could bring some change we were able to witness first hand. 

After a while though, we stop paying attention to the flowers.  The roads, previously muses inspiring awe and beautiful understanding, are now monotonous highways with miles and miles of cornfields, trees or flat prairie lands.  Sooner or later, the path is nothing like we originally intended it to be and we wonder how we got on it in the first place. We have a tendency to get complacent and deviate from the path.

What is needed in this time is to renew things. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).  Like a married couple sometimes needs to have date night, or a car needs an oil change and a deep cleaning, our lives sometimes need to be aired out.  We must encourage, no, demand that our outlook be shifted to view better results.  Just think of it as if coming home from a long vacation and reuniting with your living room, your television or your bed, making new dents in your couch and creating new memories. 

Consider making everything feel brand new – call your friends and start a “new” friendship, rearrange your bedroom to have a “new space” or walk into work as if it is your first day all over again.  Welcome back, as the new you!

Purging

Last week was quite challenging for me as there was death in my extended and church families.  In addition,  with the emotions around Zimmerman case, I felt, as did many, the need to release.  I present, then, Purging.

Ever put a bottle of water in the freezer?  The ice in the bottle is a hard chunk, alternating the shape to match the new figure.  But it can only go so far - within the confines of the space.  The bottle itself will frost on the outside.  Once out of the freezer, as it slower warms up, the water has no place to go.  It either evaporates, sweats or has to be opened to pour out to make room for the water to come.

We are very much like this water bottle.  When a major event happens, we fill up on all the information.  We watch television, replay the moments over and over in our minds, and try to reason different outcomes.  Even if we start to walk through some of our sentiments, we cap ourselves, locking the majority of them in a cold, dark place, continuing our business as usual so that we can function.  But then, the day comes when it starts to thaw.

In times like these we have to purge, find some way to release.  It can be in prayer, in protest, in exercise, in reading,  in screaming or in writing, whatever is most comfortable.  The purge can be the anonymity of marching out in a crowd unified as one voice or pulling away for a quiet cathartic moment.  "Trust in God at all times, O people, pour out your heart before God; God is a refuge for us"  (Psalm 62:8).  Purging is an act of purification, a readying process, preparing us for the next phase.  Like ice cold water quenching the thirst on a summer's day, the release can bring an outlook of positivity and energy.

Consider for the rest of this week, taking the time to restore yourself by pouring out some of what is bottled up.  While it may be little by little, as drops or sips, each bit will go one step closer to renewing your spirit.

~ Amina S. McIntyre