Reflections: Challenge Accepted

One [person] with courage is a majority.

Thomas Jefferson

I am notorious for starting projects but not finishing them. I do not believe it is so much a lack of discipline as it is getting distracted with the next biggest, brightest, shinier star, because all of them should be in my sky, right?  “Not really,” I often have to remember to tell myself. Sometimes, I believe I just have a fear of actually succeeding, of being rewarded something for which I worked so hard.  Who could imagine that it could be possible to not really want to succeed?

I learned, this month, that I as much as I love writing and would do it every waking moment of my existence (or some form of it including theater, sermoning, reading and the like), I worry constantly about what people would think about it.  Take this blog/newsletter, for instance, I write and write and some days posts that are to come out, do not make it out.  Funny thing is, I often have a post in the back lined up somewhere that would have worked, but I felt it was subpar for whatever reason.  Yes, quality is importance, but not at the risk of self-sabotage.

So what are we self-sabotaging? Where are we in our lives that we are stopping ourselves from receiving a blessing because we stop just short of the moment. I often wonder what would have happened if we just stayed the course.  Even as I write this, my mind is racing and I have 3 other possible Peace and Praise subjects open, some started, others a mere title, a play and a bibliography for a grant, in separate window.  Talk about a need to get it all together! 

What we need to do in situations such as these is to simply focus and prioritize.  What had to happen? And what is it that we need to do first.  For me, which article should I write first (probably the one that comes out today!)? I have written before about the need to finish projects, and today, the last Friday in August, I am declaring my acceptance of the Challenge. To be more focused, more diligent, and actually complete some tasks.  To shut down the 50-11 windows I have open at any given time to make room for concentrating on just one thing.

Consider issuing a small self-challenge and accepting it. 

Unified

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to the big differences that we often can not foresee.”

~ Maria Wright Edelman

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.”

~ Anita Roddick

In preparation for a theatrical production, many working hours going to the finished product: actors memorize lines, directors work to solidify the overall vision, and set designers build the idea.  There are so many persons who collaborate to work toward one goal, each with a different gift, a different purpose.  With so many ornaments, so many moving parts, if there is just one person who is missing from the action, the entire company will notice, especially if it means someone else now has to complete their assigned task.

These assigned tasks are unique because everyone has one. Sounds cliché, but not any two are the same and with every performance, it changes slightly, each experience adjusting for the needs of the day.  A tweak here and there will make the duties run ever smoother and the show more seamless than the night before.

In our everyday lives, we are like that. We are placed in situations and held accountable for responsibilities that require us to be present for them to be complete. When we are out of place or not there, we see how strong of an impact it is on our lives and on those in our immediate circles.  We may feel as if we are no longer on the same wavelength, no longer able to be apart of the unit.  But the truth of the matter is that we are noticed in our absences for when we are not in place, we are no longer contributing to the whole. 

We affect so many more than we think, even if the smallest gesture.  It does matter if we are not in the best shape (physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally).  It does matter if we do not take care of ourselves.  It does matter if we are only operating to 75% of our maximum capacity.    1 Corinthians 12:12 reads, “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.” It does not matter if we stutter, feel ill equipped or have a set back a time or two, we must fulfill our role.

This week, let us consider the strength of our own impact, for giving ourselves fully is the only way to obtain unity.

Reflections: Lifted

I have a different plan for my writing in August - my intension were to write about how the different school supplies can encourage us. Those posts will still be written soon and released at some point in the future.  However, there is so much movement in the air, I felt a different subject come about.  In the news and in my personal life, there have been several people unhappy with their circumstances, down on their luck and in their self-esteem.  With the recent alleged suicide of a childhood star whose career I followed, it solidified the fact that this should be a conversation.  Take a deep breath and exhale; we need this one.

Without a doubt, sometimes the world seems to weigh on us.  We do not always wear it well – we may cry out in frustration or feel the not-quite-so-gentle perspiration of tears moisturizing our skin.  Some of us hold it in, isolating ourselves, only to act out physically later which shocks our family and friends.  We maintain the pretenses, justifying the need to save face by indulging in luxuries – buying a new pair of shoes instead of paying a bill (even though I believe in rewarding the self – but that post is for another time).  I wonder if it is that, sometimes, we do not admit to ourselves exactly where we are on our emotional spectrum? That by the time we cry out for help we are so far down the spiral there is no possible redemption.  We get low, out of sync with ourselves and out of balance.

Yesterday morning, I stopped by my church to drop off a package and had the treat of hearing my friend sing some of John Legend’s “So High” (she has a magnificent voice).  The song itself actually talks about one party issuing an invitation of love to another; listening to it made me fall in love again – with me.   I was able to wrap up in a moment of clarity, seeing what I had neglected the past few weeks when my own situations became far more than I could handle.  In that moment, I understood that I had failed recently to really uplift myself, to forgive myself of mistakes I may have made, to forgive myself for doubting my intuition, or to congratulate myself for stepping out on faith.

This sounds a little odd, but I think sometimes we allow the world to distract us to the point that we can ot see what is that we have always loved about ourselves. The things like that birthmark on my leg; the chicken pox scar on my chest; or the fact that I like to make paper piles in all of my work and living spaces.  These things simultaneously annoy me, yes, but it is what makes me so unique.  I love my fear of showing my writing to anyone, my reluctance at stepping out on faith and that I am phone shy – I hate calling someone the first time.  I’m flawed and I love that because it is where I am humbled.    I am reminded that, “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well” (Psalm 139:14).  The depths of my complexity is scary and awesome, a thin line that can be confusing if not embraced.  But we should not be daunted.

The reason I write and maintain Peace and Praise as a blog and newsletter is to encouraging myself so that I can be a brighter light to others.  We never know whom we touch, who is watching, who is in need of your presence, in any given circumstance.  I write this as a person who admits that I have been so low, feeling unaccomplished or that I must be as worthless/incompetent as they say.  I write acknowledging that I have, in the earliest morning hours after bouts of persistent insomnia, considered the alternatives, convinced they could be a solution.  I write confessing that I have not always been in the soundest of minds when pieces of my life were scattered – half up in the air threatening to drop while many more lay open and exposed on the ground.  Thankfully, I had a godmother with professional sensibilities who loved me enough to share a salad, fanning that dying spark, coaxing it regain the strength to become a full on flame once more.

I have attempted the juggling act – that dance that forces me to choose between the necessary elements, only to finally that decide I refuse to choose any longer.  I have to do what preserves me and deposits positively into my own life.

What lifts me?  I intentionally decide to get grounded, connecting with the scientifically purest form of myself, the being made of love and joy.    In the beginning, it may require confiding in an anonymous party, one who would never judge you or your situation.  Getting lifted is about accepting your truth and reveling in the peace the honesty can bring.  Getting lifted is moving to a place so high that even if things are not going right, the thoughts never again threaten to diminish your heat.  I am happy to say, that no matter what I have faced since that salad, I have never allowed my flame to be turned that low again.

Consider grounding yourself – meditate in the morning, develop a ritual of 10 minutes of quiet time or even color.  If you are in a place that pushes you deeper, consider confiding in a professional 3^rd party or certified spiritual guide to assist.  Above all, keep yourself lifted.

What’s in your Knapsack?: Unpacking the Compartments

Picture from cfespcs.sharpschool.com

“Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are a whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.” ~ Beverly Sills

The fall comes and without a doubt, one of the recurring themes is returning to school and the purchase of utensils.  Buying school supplies, or preparing for the upcoming tasks, will make the work easier in the long term. In fact, often what is acquired during this time determines how prepared one is for the remainder of the academic year. My favorite was choosing a backpack, for the color, preferably, with many different compartments, complete with zippers and pockets, so that it would be easier to locate everything during the change of periods.

In my house, my Mom always made sure we were completely packed full of numerous items, including pencils, pens, notebooks, erasers, calculators…the list goes on.  She took full advantage of tax free weekends and sales at Office Depot so as to avoid paying full price for pencils in January.   We, my brothers and I, would spend multiple hours the night before the first day of school deciding what would go into the bag and how to establish a system for the year.  No matter how prepared we were, around 3^rd period we discovered there was a surprise waiting at the bottom of the knapsack, messenger bag, or two strapped backpack.  It could be the extra notebook paper, index cards, or even the locker magnet we thought was left in the store due to cost, hiding in that bonus cell phone holder made of the same material as the bag.

Our lives often operate like this – we pack for the journey and still, somehow, we are pleasantly surprised by the gifts acquired, even subconsciously.  Funny thing is, there are so many of us who actually never bother to look inside the bag to begin with.  Some are reluctant to unzip a pocket for fear of bumping up against negative experiences, to remember what may have caused pain.  Others have no clue at all that they are carrying a bag.  Even still, others of us have only bothered to pull out what we were responsible for packing, never brothering to rip the Velcro. 

We need not worry about what will happen tomorrow, because we have already prepared for what is to come.   “And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).  So get ready, set and go off into a new academic year, knowing everything you need is there to use.

Consider taking time out this month, as we walk through the contents of the bag, to reflect on the gifts you have and how you can use them toward furthering your call.