Mind the Gap: Between the Margins

Anyone whose every typed anything, especially for a college class or while constructing a resume, has had to worry about how to manipulate the margins.  Whether it is because there is just one line too many left over, or one word that is falling down to the next, hanging by its lonesome, playing around the edges is a daring feat that can often prove to be successful.  While, to the natural eye, these do not seem to make that much of a difference, unless you are a well-trained professor with the uncanny ability to catch these nuances, for the person make the adjustments it means a lot.  It can take hours to get the margins just right so that they fit the requirements of the task.

As we survey what lies in our gaps, in the very pores of our being, we will note that things that may be taken for granted actually did play a large part in time. In the commentary Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Peter Jackson mentions how the 2 minute scene of Gollum running would take days to get right.  It is fascinating to hear someone speak French, however it took years to develop that talent, possibly even spending time in a francophone country.  Audiences who attend an inspirational and truly moving play often never see the hours of work actors, directors and all the other theatrical personnel place into making the experience. These times are BTM (Between the Margin) experiences.

At the wedding in Cana, Mary commanded Jesus to provide wine for the attendees when the family had run out. Mary never asked if he could do it, probably was not around to see how long it took him to make it happen or to perfect the skill – it was something that Jesus worked out was between the margins.   Miracles, skills, gifts and inspirations come from between the margins.  This work, this refinement, this tampering and tinkering until we get it just right is apart of the BTM stage.

This week, reconsider those trying, diligent or times of extreme focus, these BTM (between the margin) experiences.  Think about the lesson, the skill and how adjusting to the new circumstances made us who we are today. 

Mind the Gap: The Smallest Hints

“Mind the Gap. It’s the Difference between life as you mean it and life as it is.”

~ Sheba Heart, character in Notes on a Scandal (film)

Fall is one of those special times of year when you are not exactly sure what the weather will be – it could be hot or cold. The leaves could be green and pretty one day, then brown and orange (or even off the branch completely) the next.  The reason people get caught so off guard is because it literally happens when we are not paying attention. Sure, we notice the slight nip in the air, or the days are just a little shorter, but sometimes it’s not until we are drinking apple cider or hot cocoa to keep warm that things have changed so much.

In our everyday dealings, we often miss paying attention to these elements.  We miss the signs that someone likes us until it is a full-blown love interest or the interest has waned. We miss that opportunity that we are perfect for, so busy trying to just make ends meet. We miss the growth of our children, the stubble growing on our chins and reading a chapter here and there until one day the children are somehow our height, the 5 o’clock shadow is now a baby beard, and we are suffering from literary dehydration.  It is a small space it seems, but that one step can make all the difference.

In all of the Holy books, we find stories of how a chance meeting changes the direction of one’s desires and motivations.  Before that brief rendezvous, that moment of recognition, they are perfectly content with life as they knew it.  Someone is knocked off a donkey on a familiar road; someone met the love of their life and it jump starts a different movement, someone has an encounter with the Creator and can never walk the same again. These moments are in the gaps, when they are not paying attention, thinking it was still an ordinary summer, when in fact, fall was actually on the way.

There are no insignificant moments in life – there are some that have more priority than others and some that make more of an impact, but all play apart in constructing our days and ultimately our lives. The hints are to be embraced, not ignored, for they reveal the truth.  Ultimately, it is our choice to acknowledge the importance, the preciousness, of the very seconds that shape our days. 

Consider, this week, acknowledging those hints that show change is in the air. Greater is coming.

The Heart of a Leader

"Being a Master leader means being a Master Servant." 

~ Bishop Teresa Snorton

People often are placed in positions of leadership at unsuspecting times.  Even if they have some skills or have done so in other arenas before, there is typically a moment of hesitation of how to proceed on certain decisions. These new facilitators will first seek counsel and advice from mentors in order to determine the best possible options.  However, what most people find that in order to really lead, to guide people to a goal, they must understand what it is to be apart of the group with whom they are working.

Same is the case in our lives when moving to the next level or into a new opportunity. We are excited about the possibilities or nervous about what comes next, but feel like we have an initial learning curve.  Whether it is writing the first book, starting a new position or moving to a new place, those first moments are taken tentatively.  We search for ways to make it as familiar as possible to our old situation – we decorate the space, start the meeting with a quote or bring our favorite lamp into the writing area.  We try to bring a little of ourselves until we can integrate the styles as quickly as possible, hoping that, by the time the first month is over, things have smoothed out just a little.

The best way of being a good leader, perhaps, is by being a great servant. There is something to be said about attending to the needs of even the lowest position in the company or the smallest person in the household. This is not the same as conforming, yielding to all wishes or making sure everyone gets everything that they want. It is about taking care of the needs. Matthew 25:40 reads, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. ’” Leading is less about being perfect and more about anticipating how a group will need to be serviced before that time comes.   Those we lead are a plant: add water before it begins to droop; give it proper sunshine so that it will grow; every now and then add that special fertilizer to give little boost; have someone look after it in your absence; and anticipating when the regiment will need to change.

Moreover, if we have to be a servant to be a great leader, we must also handle our needs.   We can not serve if we are not listening and paying attention to all the whispers of our body’s requests for food and water, our mind’s requirements of sleep, our spirit’s desire to be restored, refreshed and renewed after a long work week.  We cannot serve if we have not given ourselves the necessary structure and organization to have a way of sustaining our own future.  Yes, leadership is tricky, but can be navigated, if we learn the best ways of serving - the repayment and reward are blessing from our own lives and loyalty from those all around us.

Let’s consider this week where we have been designated a leader and see how we can be better servants in those capacities.

Outliers: Seeing from a Distance

Many of my friends have been on vacations and returned with beautiful pictures of their adventures.  The above, taken by Lessie Rivon, friend of Kimberly Barnes, is a scene from her trip to the Bahamas.   Enjoy!

In the late 80s, a film featured a boy who always got teased at school and was constantly left out and used because of small stature.  He decided, then, he wanted to be big.  He made a wish on a machine at a Fair and, the next morning, was an adult.  Although at first it was difficult to navigate - after all his best friend still looked and acted 13, he found his niche at toy company, testing toys' effectiveness by playing with them.  His co-workers could not understand how he was coming up with new ideas that worked or how he was advancing so quickly, they just knew he was different in his thinking, actions and approach to making the company successful.

Sometimes we come into a specific place and realize we see it all differently.  The solutions are deviant from the norm, not exactly a crowd pleaser, but can change the way the world considers things.  Like a remote control for a tv, a sand paper strip on the side of a matchbox or a rubber ring for a key.  In these situations we are outliers, persons in the group who may stand alone or in a small cluster away from the standard.

Admittedly, it may be hard to realize we are the one who sees outside the group; it can be a lonely position.  But it is necessary that each group to have thinkers, doers and movers, even for a short time, to shed light on the obvious.  Caleb, in Numbers 13, was one of the 12 sent over the mountain to scope out Canaan for Moses.  While the other 11 said they should turn back, Caleb saw a not so popular view of the situation, saying, "Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it" (verse 30; NRSV).  He saw, as God did, the vision necessary to save the entire nation, and was unafraid to stand boldly on this perspective.

Perhaps we have been pondering an idea that may not make sense to others, but refuses to go away. It may be time to explore it, meditate on it and embrace it.  After our brief hesitation, we may find that there is peace in that space when we have made the decision to follow the voice. And, the road that seems to be less traveled - the deviation - will open up with added blessings as confirmation for the making the right choice.

Let us consider asking ourselves what sight we have been given at our jobs, in our home or in our daily lives.  Let us decide today to cling to that vision and be ready for wherever it takes us.

What Holds Us Up

“My Mama said that I was not built to break! ...I did not know my own strength.”

~ Whitney Houston

At a recent conference, a young woman, before sharing her gift of song, told the awaiting listeners that she was striving to be a phenomenal woman. As the crowd affirmed for her that she was already phenomenal, the speaker went on to tell of how she had survived a severe domestic violence situation and now, in her upper 30s was returning to school as a freshman to further her education.  A shocked crowd applauded her courage, her strength, fortitude and drive.  The speaker then, again, repeated her desired to be a phenomenal woman.    Someone at a table below the platform whispered, “But you already are” hoping the words could be a silent bandage for the obvious wounds this woman was struggling to heal.

How many times have we been this way?  Standing on the dais of situations in our lives, whether it be conversation with friends, at the head of a boardroom meeting, in front of the classroom, in front of our children, unable to recognize our own greatness.  Somehow not able to face our own legacy for trying to escape the stigma of whatever was chaining us, not realizing that chain has been broken. Unable to see how our story is an inspiration to another.  We think, “This is what holds us back.”  When working to move forward, we replay, constantly, traumas that plagued us, wondering how we can just maneuver around the wall to be that better person we want to become.

What the audience was collectively pushing for was a change in her thinking, a shift in perspective.  The crowd, touched and encouraged by her story, wanted desperately to be a reaffirming mentor to a woman with such value, for her to see that she was already walking in her potential by pushing to live our her dreams in spite of her past. What the assembly need was the affirmation that there would not be another like them, who may have previously allowed outside forces to dictate how they felt about themselves.

To be honest, we are most often, for ourselves, more like the young woman, and less like the crowd. We are told that the survivor stands alone and no one else will ever be for us.  The truth is often farther from this thought than we could imagine. We all have a cheerleading section of people who still see the best in us, whether it is spiritual, persons in your circle now, or a confirmation on the way in your future.  What we must remember is that the experiences move us forward, build us, shape up, mold us and deposit growth into us. What we must remember is that what we think is really holding us back is actually what is holding us up. 

Consider, this week, making a list of all the things you feel are holding you back.  Even title it as such. Once the list is made, scratch off the word “back” and replace it with “up”